21 Years 11 Months and 11 Days... Looking Retroactively...

A fine Sunday without sun means melancholy for Mr Genki. 1300hrs was the reveille timing. Was it the cool air or the comfort of his bed that kept him in lalaland till mid-day? Beats me...

As soon as he walked into the kitchen, he could smell that lunch is almost ready. Mum's cooking is always the best(Though I always complained that it's too normal). However, I had decided to pass lunch till later as I reached for a packet of 3-in-1 coffee mix to satisfy that little addiction of mine.

It's that same old couch that I would bum onto to make the reading of Sunday Times more pleasurable. 'Rule change sees Medisave claims jump', 'One Eyed Dragon's Women, from love rivals to best pals.', 'For homeless, it's no job, no money, no choice.', etc. were the more catchy headlines that caught my attention. The one regarding One Eyed Dragon was juicy and dramatic. While 'Homeless' articles triggered a number of thoughts.

If you have noticed, Mr Genki is only 2 1/2 hrs since reveille and he has so much to talk about. Mr Genki suddenly noticed that he is around 20 days away from his 22nd Birthday. He then thought retroactively to himself about his past and at the same time tries to project himself into the future.

I have a few issues. Firstly I asked myself what I've achieved from the past 21++ years. I could not answer myself. Then I asked myself what would I want to be in the future. No answer yet again.

And not forgetting his recent success for obtaining a driving licence, he started to think tat such happiness is temporal. Mr Genki soon realised that neither he nor his family could not own a car, and so it is quite redundant getting a driving licence. But his motivation to learn driving came when his parent made a casual remark that the family could buy a car. There were no concrete promises and Mr Genki knows that it may be challenging for the household financially. Nevertheless, it motivated him.

As Mr Genki caught this article 'Cheaper prices, so young snapping up cars' on the Sunday Times, it somehow rekindled his desire for a 4 wheeled vehicle. So he started to drop hints to his parents again. In essence, $561 per month for 10 years is what it takes to own a car. Not too expensive at first look. Well nevertheless, doors were shut against Mr Genki's face and he was told to dream of cars again after graduation(i.e 3 1/2 yrs from now!).

Sounds reasonable initially. But on second and higher thoughts, Mr Genki says 'ちょっとまって' (i.e wait a minute). He couldn't stop wondering if the prospects of owning a car even after graduation is bleak. Looking at how his sisters (both NUS graduates) struggled to pay off their study loans for the first few years is the main reason. Not forgetting Mr Genki just received a notice that a balance of $338.85 (after Grant and Loan) will be deducted from his bank account on 30/01/2007.

Well, the Loan portion amounted to about $2.5k per semester. These figures are just figures during my undergraduate study. But once I graduate, interest starts rolling in at a rate dependent on the economic situation. What's worse is Mr Genki feels that this amount of money involved in a so-called top quality tertiary education is unjustified. This could be mostly attributed to some mediocre quality of teaching staff he had gotten for this semester. In addition to that, the rush schedule, poor administration support and even poor administration of examinations that made the whole student bill a load of crap. I would be so sure after just one semester to say that JC days were definitely more comfortable in terms of academic stuff. I really miss the kind of professionalism that my JC teachers had displayed. I'm paying a more that $20k++ to self-study! What CRAP!

While Mr Genki thought he might be better off using his school fees to pay for a car, things got worse as he gets hit by identity crisis. Till this point of time, he's still unclear if he's in the correct school and faculty. He missed doing mathematics and there isn't too much mathematics for him to do in Biz. He ever discussed with his sister the switch to NTU Aerospace Engineering. But what she told him was to be mature and stop being an impressionable kid who make decisions based on glorifying HK Dramas. Sheesh, I am seriously lost.

Mr Genki looked back at time and failed to find any significant achievement he made this 21++ years. Then he told himself he should look more proactively into the future, it seemed bleak too. He felt something is very wrong, but he does not know what's wrong.

It's very rare that Mr Genki could write so much given his limited English profienciency. Well, I would say there could be worse, but I do not want to catch too much attention and to be seen as an attention seeker. I only wanted to make use of this virtual space to let my frustrations with life out of myself so that I can move on. If you think Mr Genki is whiny, think no more because he is indeed whiny.

I'm tired... ... ... ...